Grief Tip

As we get deeper into the major holiday season of the year, I want to take the time to share some tips and tricks to support the mourning process at this potentially highly emotional time.

Whether you yourself need the information, or if you’re wanting to be more supportive for others ok their mourning process, I hope to provide some insight and awareness for you this season.

It is my intention to post one tip out of Alan D. Wolfelt’s book “Healing your Holiday Grief” each day over the next 2 months.

I’ll start today with a very important concept that I learned straight from Dr. Wolfelt in a workshop a couple of weeks ago that I think is very key for people to understand:

“UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GRIEF AND MOURNING”

• Grief is the constellation of internal thoughts and feelings we have when someone we loved dies. •Mourning is the outward expression of grief. •Everyone grieves when someone loved dies, but if we are to heal, we must also mourn.

To paraphrase, WE HAVE TO START SHARING OUR GRIEF in order to process and move forward with it. This means opening up to people you trust. Crying when the tears come up-they came up for a reason! Slowing down. Honoring your loved one with outward ceremonial practices. No more “celebrating life” ceremonies. Truly MOURN that someone you loved dearly has died. Don’t force yourself to “be strong,” “stay positive,” or “understand the bigger plan.” You CAN do these things if they FEEL right, but no obligations or expectations and if you feel the other stuff, like “this is unfair,” “why me/us,” etc. honor those too!